


Resolutions

by mooninmourning



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel Loves Dean Winchester, Castiel is Loved (Supernatural), Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Dean Winchester Loves Castiel, Kissing, M/M, Men of Letters Bunker (Supernatural), Neck Kissing, New Year's Resolutions, New Years, Protective Castiel (Supernatural)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-18
Updated: 2020-01-18
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:42:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22307374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mooninmourning/pseuds/mooninmourning
Summary: With the fear that Castiel will leave the bunker for good, Dean decides that his New Year's resolutions are a top priority.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 1
Kudos: 77
Collections: Destiel Instagram One Shot/Art Contest - January 2020





	Resolutions

This would be the year Dean would make Castiel feel loved. And every year after that, too. That was a promise Dean made to himself, a promise he hoped he hadn't ruined his chances to keep.

Dean realized too late that it was long before the evil of the being they called Chuck was revealed that he had not given the angel the appreciation that he deserved. Saying that he was dead to him surely didn't help either.

On the first day of the new year, Dean went over his resolutions. He had never made a list before, but his wishes all centered around a very important part of his life, so he decided that changes would have to be made. He'd never wanted anything as much as he wanted Cas. Cas's happiness. Cas's permanent presence. Cas.

He listed his resolutions in order of what he viewed as most likely to actually happen.

Apologize to Cas

Make sure Cas stays and knows he is needed

Never be a dick to Cas again

Tell Cas how you feel

Finally kiss Cas (?)  
He then crossed this out.

Maybe kiss Cas??

Dean had some doubts, and as usual they were all being aimed towards himself. He didn't want to waste any more time. If there was even a chance that he could be happy, he'd take it. Especially given that Sam gave him the heads up that it seemed like Cas was getting ready to leave, and for good this time.

Dean saw it coming, of course he did. He had tried cracking a joke in the presence of the angel a few days prior, but he was not amused. Neither was Sam. Clearly, Cas had more than enough reasons to be pissed at him.

He rushed to Cas's room, he seriously had to do this now.

Dean didn't even knock, he just threw open the door, which had been slightly ajar. The sudden action caused Cas to drop something. A quick look down revealed that it had been the mixtape he'd given to Cas years before.

It wasn't broken, so that was a relief. From the looks of it, Cas had been holding it with both hands. Dean couldn't think too hard about why, for he was focused on how the angel's blue eyes had widened, and were concentrated on the fallen object.

Had he listened to it? Did it remind him of Dean? Did it make him want to stay? Or did looking at it make him wish to be even farther away from the bunker, from Dean?

With his whole world standing in front of him, Dean had to hope that he wouldn't be forced to lose it all.

"You're the light of my life," he said, and while he had thought that for years, he had expected to choke on his words if he ever attempted to get it out of his mouth.

Cas had looked up. That was something. For the first time, Dean noticed the redness around his eyes. He was crying before Dean burst in. And it was because of him. There was no room for any other thought, and Dean couldn't measure the amount of regret that it made him feel.

The angel tilted his head slightly–Dean really liked when he did that–but did not say anything.

They'd both missed this eye contact. It changed the way that they breathed. The presence of the other had always made them feel stronger, and yet weak in the knees, in a way that had only been described before in books.

So Dean went on with, "I know I don't show you. And if I could take it back, every terrible thing I said to you, I would. None of it was true, Cas. You're not dead to me and you are definitely not the cause of all my problems."

Dean took a tentative step forward, still afraid that Cas would leave him forever at any moment. 

"I am so sorry. And I know that I'm being selfish, but I don't want to enter this new year without you."

Resolution number one, complete. 

He rubbed a hand on the back of his neck as he felt his face heat up. It wasn't the love confession that he'd been going for, that Cas deserved, but it was a start. He'd get there.

Apparently it was already enough to get Cas's eyes watering, and he spoke for the first time since Dean had entered the room.

"How is that selfish?"

Oh. Dean didn't think he'd get anything out of him. He wasn't sure if the question was a good thing or a bad thing. After asking, Cas bent over to pick up the mixtape and then placed it on the dresser by his bed. The action gave Dean the perfect opportunity to stare without being caught. Every feature of the angel was lovely to him, from his hands to his eyes to the shape of his shoulders.

"It's selfish because I know that you deserve better. Much better than me, maybe if...maybe if you left you could find someone that didn't lash out at you, someone that would let you know every day what you mean to them. How important you are. But I don't want you to do that. I want that person to be me. I want to be better for you."

Dean cleared his throat and got closer to Cas. He tried to speak without letting his voice break.

"Please stay, Cas. I want to fix what I've done, no matter how long it takes."

Without a doubt, he would make all of his New Year's resolutions about Cas for the rest of his life if he stayed.

Cas gave what could have been a smile and took a seat on his bed.

"Sit," he said. Of course, Dean obeyed. They were incredibly close. Cas placed his hand gently on top of Dean's. The hunter's heart filled with hope and without thinking about it he let his thumb lightly caress Cas's hand.

"I will always forgive you," Cas said, with a full smile this time. "And there is no one better than you, Dean Winchester. I will be by your side for as long as you want me here."

"Always." It was an immediate answer, and Dean found that he was proud of it. "I will _always_ want you here, Cas."

Resolution number two, complete.

Allowing a wave of happiness to overtake him, Dean imagined a future with Cas, where they're together and there are never any doubts about where they're meant to be. Because they're there now. Looking down at his hand, he wondered what it would be like if there was a ring there. If they could be married. Perhaps he would have to add that to his resolutions list.

Resolution number three had been complete since the moment he wrote it down. There was no way he would risk losing this. He would cherish Cas. There was no room for being a dick anymore.

They were holding hands and smiling, but Dean was still scared. What if Cas still didn't understand? He knew that, according to holiday etiquette or whatever, he had the whole year to complete his resolutions. But he'd already waited for _years_.

"Hey, Cas?" His voice was already uneven. His gaze went from their hands to the eyes of the angel that had saved him from hell so many years ago. The angel that would never abandon him.

"I love you."

The hand on top of his went completely slack for a moment and Dean was pretty sure he stopped breathing, but then the grip tightened and he was given the most gigantic smile he'd ever seen on Cas's face.

Resolution number four, complete.

"I really hope you don't mean that in a brotherly way."

With a laugh, Dean replied, "No, no I didn't. To clarify: I am _in_ love with you...have been for years."

Cas's lips parted at that and he whispered, "Years?" Dean nodded.

Cas sighed, and it was a mixture of happiness and frustration.

"I've been in love with you for years as well. After what happened between us, I had lost all hope of reciprocation."

"Oh, Cas. I'm so sorry."

"I'm sure you'll find some way to make it up to me," he said, rubbing his hand over Dean's in a way that really shouldn't have been so stimulating.

Was he...flirting?

But then Cas stopped and looked shy once more and added, "unless my vessel makes you uncomfortable. I will happily be with you in any way that you like."

And then Dean felt like a complete ass. Of course Cas was insecure.

"Cas, I might have considered myself to be straight for a long time, but your vessel doesn't bother me in the slightest. I've never been in love before, just so you know. You're it for me. And...I am very, _very_ attracted to you, okay? So much more than I've ever been to anyone else. And this?" He raised their hands. "This means a hell of a lot more to me than all the sex I've ever had in my life."

Cas's eyes widened. He was smiling again, and Dean was more than relieved.

Dean leaned forward and let their noses touch. He took in the way that Cas was looking at him and wondered how he'd missed it for so long.

"I want you in every single way Cas, and I've already waited way too long to kiss you. Can...can I do that now?"

As a response, Cas pushed himself slightly further into Dean's space. 

And then Dean cupped his face and finally kissed him. They just let their lips press against each other for half a minute, but after that their tongues met and soon enough Dean was pulling Cas into his lap. Dean's mouth moved underneath Cas's chin and he felt his flannel being grabbed at.

"You f-find me...attractive?" It was difficult for Cas to speak as Dean was having his way with his neck, but it was understood. The angel felt Dean scoff against his skin.

"Yes, Cas. Very. You're beautiful." Cas's neck got a lot warmer and then they continued what should have started years ago.

Resolution number five, complete.


End file.
